Marbles

While my friends are talking about playing "hide and clap" after watching The Conjuring, I remember of marble game I used to play when I was a child instead. Actually, there's nothing scary about the game. It was an ordinary marble game; children shot the marbles, aiming opponent's marbles. I used to play the game with my friends at my backyard or any wide, open space like field or whatnot. In this story, it was not the game that is scary. It was not the players who are scary. It was the place that is scary.

I remember having played the game with my friends at a friend's backyard. The backyard is located near an old, neglected, unoccupied house. Alas, the backyard does not have any fences or frontiers. In other words, my friend's house and the unoccupied house share the same backyard (you might be able to imagine how the location is like). Making it clear, I'll try to describe the location: my friend's backyard is located between my friend's house and the unoccupied house. Have a clearer image now?

 It was only three of us, and I was the youngest. As the youngest among the group members, I often time got the harder 'duties' such as collecting the marbles after the game, or being the one who is blindfolded in "hide and seek" game, or being frequently defeated in playing certain games since I had not been well-skilled yet. Clouds shrouded us and the house looked so scary. As the sky got darker and darker, the house became more scary as well. Windows were left unveiled, revealing interior of the house. Every time I looked at one of those windows, I saw dark rooms, with spiderwebs on the wall and dusty ceiling. I was simply scared, yet somehow curious; wondering if someone suddenly showed up in the window and blinked at me. At that time, I could not enjoy the game. I felt like someone was watching us from one of those windows.

My friends enjoyed the game. They really had fun. I, who felt uncomfortable with the situation, decided to quit playing the game and ended up watching them playing. I stayed close to a friend, the oldest, and tried not to look at the house. But my eyes seemed to lose control, keeping looking at the house. Realizing that I had been just watching the game, the oldest one asked me to collect the marbles instead of doing nothing but watching. I refused at first because they shot the marbles far, near the neglected house. My friends forced me to collect it, telling me that everything would be fine and they would be there for me if something wrong happened. I doubted it but eventually walked to collect the marbles. As I got closer to the house, I felt like the house was watching me (this part would sound like a children horror story). The windows were the eyes, the door was the mouth. It was really dark inside the house that I could feel the darkness though I stayed outside. My heart beat fast that I dropped the marbles I collected. After collecting all the marbles, I came back quickly and requested my friends not to shoot too far. Fortunately, before they continued the game the rain started falling down so we ended the game and went home.

The house itself; it had been left unoccupied for years. Some occupants who had lived there; a family consisting of a married couple with their little daughter, and a family consisting of an old woman with her granddaughter; they seemed not to live for a long time there. The first family lived there for probably two or three years and then moved out. The old woman and her granddaughter occupied the house for a couple years and then they moved out. The house became unoccupied for years until another family lived there. Unfortunately, the family often times caused trouble for the neighbors that I, personally, hated them. The first two families were good family, and they moved out. When it came time for another family to occupy the house, it was an annoying family who occupied the house. I wonder if the house is somewhat cursed.

Honestly, I've been visited the house, once in my lifetime when the first family occupied the house. It was a big house and had several big rooms. I liked the size of the rooms, but I hated its kitchen; it was dark and dirty. The atmosphere of the house was really cold, and still I wonder why.

So it was not the marble game that is scary. It was the place where we played the game that is scary.

(Not) Getting along well

So, where should I start it from?

Okay, he is a friend of mine and I've known him for about three years. He is one of my first college friends and he's given me a friendly, easy going impression that I thought we could be good friend. However as time goes by, things change. So do people. I'll never know what would happen on the first second after this post is successfully posted.

We became friends and I thought we would be good friend, or best friend, or whatnot. He was an easygoing person, unlike me who was quite selective in making friends, resulting on my cold behavior towards certain people. He was quite well-known, and I should admit it he was (and is still) good in making friends by giving them friendly impression. Time went by and we fought once, or rather, there was a misunderstanding that I pulled myself back, abandoning him. "He's got a lot of friends" I thought and that was, that really was true. He got a lot of friends and anywhere he went, he greeted someone; his friend.

He once said something that (actually) hurt me, resulting on myself loathing him, looking down on him. I had good times on my first semester and there, I suddenly thought to make up with friends whom I thought I had problems with, including him. I started to talk to him again, asking about weather, homework, or whatnot. We eventually became closer but still, something was stirring up my mind like maelstrom; there was something annoying inside of him that sometimes showed up. I kept trying to get along well with him but when that annoying thing came up, I got upset and we got apart. Often times I started a small talk in making up with him but later dispute started and we, again, got apart.

What I know is that to me, he has been a brother and he probably doesn't know about it though I've mentioned about it before to him, telling him that he's a brother to me. He might have forgotten it. He might have, but I am not sure exactly, whether he was good at memorizing or not. At home, I sometimes fight with my elder brother and we eventually make up. That's the same thing happening to me and him, a friend of mine. What bothers me is that I, honestly, hate things to be like this; there is a misunderstanding, and we fight, and someone starts a small talk, and we make up, and annoying thing comes, and we fight again, and someone starts a small talk, and we make up again. The cycle is something that, I think, should be changed. Am I going to always be like a friend-but-fiend to him? And is he going to always be a brother-that-bothers to me?

I always expect that he and I could understand each other well. I expect that we could really get along as well. As he is a brother to me, I wish to do my best, becoming not only a friend but also a brother for him. And I wish him to do the same. I think I have not really got along well with him, and I wish I could.

Am I shrinking?

It's been about a month and half for me to not go to campus. So today I went to campus due to an appointment and I immediately realized something different there.

It's not that I met new people; those new students coming from all over places in this country. I saw the buildings seemed to 'grow' bigger. I walked through corridors and realized that they got bigger, wider, and longer. Ceilings seemed to be higher that it had used to be. Window panes were as clear as today's blue sky. Lifts went faster. Rooms were brighter that it had used to be. Walls were clean; almost no flaw found.

Was it the building that really changed, or was it just me, who seemed to shrink?