Susan

It has been eight years and I hardly ever tell this story to my friends. I realize how I almost forgot her after years, and an assignment from my lecturer led to a rememberance of her. I didn't think that I would end up telling a story about her for my essay homework. The homework required me to write an essay about unsolved mystery occurred in the place where I live in. The mystery could be a murder, someone's disappearance, or natural phenomenon. At first I thought about a continuous theft occurred in my housing-complex but I realized that it would not be so mysterious, so I thought about something elsel; an unsolved case I know, or case whereby I was involved, I witnessed, or I know. I ended up remembering her, thus led me to a rememberance of that sad story. 

I have lived in Kuningan for several years before eventually moved to Bandung (again). I moved (back) to Bandung in 2006, so I finished my elementary school in Kuningan. There I found friends with different characters and traits. I was the member of A class, from the first year to the sixth year, and the members remained the same so I met same people with same faces and traits for six years. Unlike the other students, I always had different point of view about something. When the other boys played soccer during breaktime, I stayed in my class drawing pictures or chatting with other friends. There were other differences that my friends and I had, which (well I don't know exactly anyway) might led me to the object of bullying. Yes, I was bullied by my friends lots of time even though I was not always the victim of bullying. I sometimes joined the bullier team to bully another kid. And I think I start going out of line so let's stop talking about bullying or something. 

I had many friends in the class. One of them was a girl named Susan. She was nice and taller than me. She had many friends even though she was kind of quiet person. She was quite smart. She once ranked Top 10 in class. And despite of being a girl, she was such a strong-minded girl. She rarely cried and she could yell at boys and make them scared when they annoyed her. We had never been close before until everything changed a lot when I became the fifth grader. I started making more friends and getting closer to those whom I had not been close to before. I was close to a Chinese girl named Pevi and became best friend with her. Pevi was very close to Susan and I eventually became best friend with Susan, too. We often spent our time going to arcade or visiting our friends' house. We shared many things and we helped each other. Susan was like a sister for me, as well as Pevi. She always knew when I was sad and she would cheer me up. And it was kinda hard for me to cheer her up because she used to look cheerful almost everyday. When she was sad, she tended not to show it, or if she had to she would not let me see it. She would ask me to go out of the class while she started crying, or shooed me to go away so I could not see her crying. Grading up to the sixth grade was a cool thing for me as an elementary school, but it was also a sad thing because I realized that I would be apart from my friends, especially Susan whom I considered as my elder sister. After the final examination, the school planned a tour which could be only joined by sixth graders only. I thought it would be great because that might be the last moment we, my friends and I could feel the togetherness before eventually walked on different path and reached different star. 

To shorten the story, the tour was great. We visited a hot spring and enjoyed our time there. The one-day tour was great enough to spend my time with beloved friends. We went home at 3p.m. and arrived at our school in the evening. I was picked up to home, together with my neighboring friends. Susan's home was not far from the school that she could walk home by herself. I enjoyed my night remembering what my friends and I had done in the hot spring. Swimming in hot spring, having lunch together, chatting and singing in the bus, I was so excited. I was so happy that I could not sleep at night. 

But the happiness did not last long. My smile perished away on the following day, Sunday, when my friends knocked on my door hastily. I quickly opened the door for them and I saw them crying. One of my friends nervously told me that Susan has passed away. I was shocked, fell in silent. They then asked me to contact our teachers since I owned their numbers to inform them about Susan's death. Panicly I got my phone and started calling my teachers to inform them. My friends were still crying in my parlor. Finished calling my teachers, I went back to parlor to meet my friends. I asked them what exactly happened but they seemed to be unsure about what they knew. Later on, I knew that Susan was found dead this morning, hanging on a tree in a small yard. It hurt my feelings to realize that she committed suicide. How could a strong girl like her commit suicide? She has been a strong and cheerful girl, and I thought it was impossible for her to commit suicide. I bursted into tears, breaking inside. Leaning on the wall, I sobbed and asked God why this should happen. 

On the following Monday, black clouds shroudded the atmosphere. Tears flowed and flooded classes. Black ribbons were on the chest. We cried her a river. Everybody was shocked by the fact that Susan would be no longer with us. Her memories lingered in our mind as we dropped more tears. Losing beloved persons is a sad thing, and you can imagine how it happens to elementary school students like me in that time. We were not strong enough to face such truth. My neighbors started asking me about her and it bothered me that I eventually got depressed by the questions. My mom wanted to know Susan so I showed her a picture of Susan taken from my birthday photo album, and I eventually bursted into tears while hugging the photograph. Things worsened when police and forensic team did responsibility to handle the case of her death came up with a new speculation that Susan's death was unnatural. A witness said that Susan committed suicide, but the findings found by police and forensic team led to a hypothesis of a murder. The bruises on her body and other similar factors strengthened the speculation. I could not stand watching the news and hearing other speculation about it. Her death has already made my feelings hurt, so I begged for anything not to make it worse. 

I attended her funeral with my friends. I have cried a lot before so I think I was strong enough to attend her funeral. I succeeded holding back my tears when she came in her coffin. Some teachers and students' parents were there, too. I took a deep breath to help me calm myself down. My friends already bursted into tears and I myself struggled not to cry. Susan is a strong girl, right? She hates to see her friends sad, right? Then I must not cry to show her that I'm strong to face this bitter truth. But I am a person, too, anyway. As I walked home, tears flowed on my cheek. I avoided walking to the crowd so people would not see me cry. It needed several weeks for me to really move on from the sadness. Now I think I have cried a lot that it's all in, even though sometimes I drop a tear remembering her or visiting her in my memory. 

Now I am eight years older and Susan must have been sleeping for eight years, too. I wonder if she still takes care of me from somewhere over the rainbow. I hardly ever tell anyone about her, because I know that it would just scratch my scar that would make me hurt again. But now, you know that there was a girl named Susan who once appeared in my life. Her appearance was not just a minor character in this drama. She taught me how to smile when I am down. She taught me how to fight back those who harrass me. She taught me a lot of things and I have learnt a lot of things from a girl named Susan, who was my classmate and was taller than me. 

And now, you know that the writer of this note slowly bursts into tears as he finishes her note with three words: 

I miss her

And my sky is crying again

It must have been her,
my sky who screamed furiously in that freezing day
and ended up bursting into tears.
I jumped from my bed, leaving
my cozy quilt, stepping on cold herringbone parquette
walking to the window,
just to see my sobbing sky.

And she was up there, crying a river.
She had never been like this.
I did not see the smile
drawn on her face
by thin sheets of cirrus, like I used to see
in sunny summer day.

So I asked her,

"Why are you crying, my dear?"

She answered no words and
nothing spoke but her tears.
I could read nothing in her eyes
but monstrous flash
that led to a thunderous tantrum
echoing in my mind.

So I serenaded her,

"Carve a smile, and wipe your tears.
Because sorrow would fly away,
and leave you a rainbow,"

But my sky kept crying and
nothing could not stop her.
Probably black clouds frightened her,
or mister sun refused to shine,
or morning dews forgot to welcome her,
and suddenly my sky said,

"Mother earth is dying.
Seeing her suffers hurts me.
Her pains remain scars,
that would hardly ever vanish,"

So my sky showed me
the crying children of Gaza losing their parents,
the silent screams from big cities,
the macabre bombing haunting little babies,
the twin brothers of the land of the morning calm fighting,
and the sinking pristine beaches.

Mother earth is dying
and the death of her is unknown.
Nothing spoke but my sky's tears
that told about agony and misery.

Then there was my sky,
still crying and whispering
a silent lamentation in the middle of the rain.
I wondered if mister sun
listened to my sky's story, dimmed his light
and wore a black ribbon.

And it must have been me,
who knew the story of my sobbing sky, fell in silent
and ended up bursting into tears.

Technika: Takes a Hiatus

Alright, so... Yeah, I have not played Technika for about two weeks, and I am going to continue taking a hiatus until I finish all my tasks and mid-tests. The decision of taking hiatus is not something I'd like to be sorry for. Yes, I decide it and I am not sad with my own decision. Actually there are some factors which led to the decision and one of the factors is my daily college activities. I might continue taking the hiatus for longer period, and I might really stop playing Technika at all (even though that is not the decision I would like to make).

So, hereby I, DJ Klaus, state that I'm taking a hiatus for an unpredictable period. I might play once, but that's only for creating crew race course. This is the official message from me. Thank you.

Blood and tears

“Sudah tiba,”

Aku menatap ke arah gedung apartemen Tiffany. Gedung setinggi dua puluh lima lantai itu nampak menjulang tinggi, menerangi langit hitam dengan cahaya lampu di setiap lantainya.

“Akhirnya tiba juga. Perjalanan pulang tadi terasa lama,” ujarku.

“Ya, begitulah. Dan kau... Apa kau ingin menginap? Sudah malam, dan aku takut kau malah tak bisa masuk ke rumah,” tawar Tiffany.

“Tidak, terima kasih. Kau harus beristirahat. Jika aku menginap di tempatmu, kau takkan bisa tidur karena aku akan mendengkur,”

“Ah, kau takkan mendengkur. Kau kan masih polos,”

“Ah, lagi-lagi kau menyebutku polos. Hmm... Baiklah, kurasa kau lebih baik segera naik ke apartemenmu. Di luar dingin dan kau bisa sakit,”

“Lalu kau sendiri?”

“Aku akan berjalan sampai stasiun MRT,”

“Apa kau yakin? Atau, bagaimana kalau kau naik taksi saja?”

“Entahlah. Lihat saja nanti,”

“Tapi entah kenapa aku khawatir denganmu. Sudahlah, kau menginap saja semalam,”

“Tak perlu. Aku hanya akan merepotkanmu,”

“Tentu saja tidak! Kau kan akan sudah bersedia membantuku untuk mengurus tempat konser anak-anak. Lantas, kenapa aku tak bisa membantumu?”

“Tapi aku memang tak bisa. Aku harus bekerja besok. Lagipula, kasihan adikku pasti menunggu di rumah,”

Tiffany menghela nafas panjang. Ia lalu menggosok-gosokkan kedua tangannya.

“Sudah, kau lebih baik masuk ke apartemenmu sekarang. Kau pasti kedinginan,” ujarku.

“Kurasa begitu. Baiklah kalau kau memang harus pulang. Hati-hati di jalan, Lee. Kalau ada apa-apa beritahu aku, dan...”

“Dan apa?”

“Terima kasih untuk malam ini,”

Aku tersenyum padanya. Tiffany lalu berbalik dan pergi masuk ke gedung apartemennya. Aku mengawasinya sampai ia benar-benar masuk ke dalam lift. Setelah yakin bahwa ia akan aman, aku pun bergegas pulang. Ah, stasiun MRT terdekat dari sini jaraknya cukup jauh. Aku harus berlari nampaknya agar bisa sampai lebih cepat.

“Malam ini dingin juga rupanya,” gumamku.

Aku berjalan di trotoar sambil mencoba menghibur diriku sendiri yang kedinginan. Ya, aneh sekali malam ini begitu dingin. Padahal biasanya, malam-malam di Singapura terasa panas. Atau setidaknya, malam-malam tak pernah sedingin ini. Sedang berusaha menembus dinginnya malam, aku mendengar suara berderu dari arah belakang. Tumben sekali ada truk atau bus yang lewat ke jalan ini. Biasanya, hanya mobil-mobil pribadi yang melalui jalan ini. Maklum saja, ini area perumahan dan sebenarnya memang mobil-mobil besar, bus, atau truk tak bisa menggunakan jalan ini dengan bebas. Semakin lama suara menderu itu semakin nyaring terdengar, dan yang membuatku terkejut adalah ketika kudengar suara klakson yang cukup nyaring. Aku berbalik dan beberapa orang menghentikan motornya di sampingku. Ada beberapa orang dengan pakaian serba hitam menghampiriku. Beberapa dari mereka membawa tongkat pemukul baseball dan botol bir. Di antara orang-orang itu, ada dua orang yang kukenal. Kevin, sahabatku sejak sekolah dasar dan... Mike, lagi?

“Kau butuh tumpangan?” tawar Mike.

“Mau apa lagi kau?” tanyaku kesal.

“Aku hanya menawarimu tumpangan. Toh sedari tadi kau pergi dengan kendaraan umum saja. Pasti kau tak punya uang untuk membeli motor atau mobil,”

“Memang apa urusanmu?”

“Huh, anak bodoh.. Kalau kau ingin berpacaran, lebih baik punya kendaraan. Ayolah, jangan membuatmu tampak konyol di depan Tiffany,”

“Kau mengikutiku dari tadi?!”

Mike langsung menghampiriku dan mencengkram leherku kuat. Ia lalu mendorongku ke pagar dan mengangkatku cukup tinggi sehingga membuatku tak bisa bernafas.

“Le, lepaskan!” aku meronta.

“Mau sampai kapan kau kabur seperti ini, hah?! Kau lupa bahwa kau masih ada urusan dengan kami?” tanya Mike sinis.

“Urusan apa lagi?! Kalian sudah cukup membuat hidupku dan hidup teman-temanku hancur! Mau apa lagi?!”

“Kau pikir pengkhianatan bisa dimaafkan semudah itu, hah?! Jangan bodoh! Kau tak lihat apa yang anak-anak ini bawa?”

“Aku tak takut!”

“Cih, dasar gelandangan! Anak-anak, habisi saja dia!”

Mike melemparku ke trotoar, dan belum siap aku dengan kuda-kudaku, orang-orang itu sudah menyerangku. Kontan saja aku sulit menyerang balik. Satu orang melawan empat orang. Tangan kosong melawan tangan bersenjata. Bagaimana aku bisa menang? Aku lantas lebih banyak melindungi diriku sendiri, menangkis serangan mereka semampuku. Perut, dada, betis, dan kepalaku jadi sasaran mereka. Jemariku terasa sangat sakit karena terkena hantaman tongkat baseball ketika aku melindungi bagian belakang kepalaku. Aku mencoba menendang beberapa dari mereka di bagian perut dan dada. Dalam keadaan seperti ini, kemampuan Taekwondo-ku memang harus kugunakan. Tapi sehebat apapun kemampuan Taekwondo-ku, jika diserang oleh banyak orang seperti ini tetap saja aku kalah. Aku pun semakin melemah, sementara mereka terus saja membabi buta. Klimaksnya, kepala dan punggungku terkena hantaman tongkat baseball dan aku langsung terkapar. Sambil menahan sakit, aku berusaha untuk bangkit, tapi tak bisa. Mike menghampiriku dan memijakkan kakinya di kepalaku.

“Kuberi kau dua pilihan, kembali bersama kami atau kau akan terus mengalami mimpi buruk semacam ini,” ujarnya.

“Aku... Aku tak...”

“Jawab sekarang!!”

Mike malah menjejakkan kakinya lebih keras. Aku mengerang kesakitan.

“Jawab sekarang!”

“Aku... aku tak mau bergabung bersama kalian lagi!”

Mike mengangkat kakinya dari kepalaku, dan menendang punggungku. Aku sudah tak mampu untuk berteriak meminta tolong. Hanya eranganku yang terdengar oleh orang-orang di sekitarku saja.

“Lee, bahkan sahabatmu sendiri tak ingin sepertimu! Sahabatmu tak ingin menjadi pengkhianat! Ia memilih tetap bersama kami daripada harus menjadi pengkhianat sepertimu!” bentak Mike.

“Kalian yang menghasut Kevin!” tepisku.

Dengan pandangan yang buram, kutatap Kevin. Kevin hanya bisa menatapku dalam bisu. Ia melihatku dengan tatapan dingin.

“Kevin, kau tahu kita bersahabat sejak dulu. Aku percaya padamu. Mereka pasti menghasutmu!” ujarku.

“Kau yang berkhianat,” ujar Kevin dingin.

“Apa?”

“Kau yang berkhianat. Aku tahu itu,”

Aku terkejut mendengar ucapan Kevin. Kenapa, kenapa ia, sahabatku tak menolongku? Bahkan ketika aku dipukuli pun ia hanya menonton saja, melihatku babak belur dan terkapar bersimbah darah.

“Nah, kau dengar itu, Lee? Sahabatmu sudah tak mau lagi percaya padamu!” Mike memanas-manasi keadaan.

“Aku tak peduli! Kevin, kita masih bersahabat, ‘kan? Kau ingat ketika kita masih bersekolah dulu, kau selalu memintaku menolongmu mengajari matematika. Kau akan marah jika aku tak menemanimu. Ketika aku tak sengaja meninggalkanmu di kelas musik, kau menangis. Sepulang sekolah, kita biasa bermain basket, dan di akhir pekan kita akan pergi ke gereja bersama-sama,” kenangku.

“Dia sudah tak butuh kenangan seperti itu!”

“Kevin! Kumohon! Jangan seperti ini! Jangan kecewakan orang-orang di sekitarmu. Ibumu pasti akan sedih jika tahu kau...”

“Jangan pernah ikut campur urusan keluargaku!”

Aku terkejut ketika Kevin membentakku seperti itu. Kevin nampak marah. Begitu kecewa aku menyadari bahwa sahabatku sudah tak lagi seperti dulu. Air mataku mengalir karena kekecewaan yang Kevin buat.

“Kukira kita masih bersahabat...” ujarku pelan.

“Hentikan ucapanmu itu!” potong Kevin tegas.

“Hmm... Kurasa lebih baik kita segera pergi dari sini. Semakin lama, keadaannya semakin mengesalkan. Ah, persahabatan... Busuk! Dalam persahabatan seharusnya tak ada pengkhianatan! Tapi sebelum pergi, apa kau ingin memberikan hadiah terakhir untuk sahabatmu, Kevin?” ujar Mike dengan nada merendahkan.

Kevin menghampiriku. Ia mencondongkan tubuhnya, dan menatapku tajam. Di genggamannya adalah sebuah botol bir kosong. Kevin begitu dingin, tak ramah seperti Kevin Fong yang kukenal.

“Kevin...”

“Cukup, Lee,”

“Kumohon. Kau ini sahabatku,”

“Tak perlu lagi mengatakan hal-hal semacam itu,”

“Tapi...”

“Sampai jumpa, Lee,”

Dengan keras, Kevin menghantamkan botol bir kosong yang ia pegang ke kepalaku sampai botol itu pecah. Bisa kurasakan kepalaku berdarah hebat. Kesadaranku mulai berkurang dan pandanganku semakin kabur. Aku hanya bisa mendengar orang-orang itu pergi dengan tawa dan cemoohan mereka, dengan deruan motornya yang nyaring, dan kemudian keadaan kembali sunyi seperti awal. Aku menangis kesal dan marah. Aku kecewa dengan Kevin, sahabatku sejak dulu. Kenapa ia tega mengkhianatiku? Kalau benar ia sahabatku, kenapa Kevin bahkan tega membiarkanku dianiaya seperti tadi? Ia bahkan ikut memberiku hadiah hebat, sebuah hantaman botol bir di kepalaku. Rasanya tengkorakku seperti retak karena perbuatannya. Emosiku hampir mencapai batasnya, dan aku sadar bahwa aku tak bisa lagi mengharapkan Kevin untuk menyadari perbuatannya dan kembali menjadi Kevin Fong yang cerdas dan rajin, seperti dulu. Emosiku membuatku kuat untuk bangkit.

“Kalau memang kita tak bisa bersahabat lagi, baiklah, aku takkan mengharapkan untuk bersahabat lagi denganmu,”

Kuputuskan untuk melanjutkan perjalanan pulangku, walaupun keadaanku yang bersimbah darah ini. Aku tak peduli lagi sekarang. Hari ini aku menyadari bahwa seorang sahabat bisa berubah menjadi seorang musuh, dan hal demikian memang benar adanya. Langkahku terseok-seok karena betisku yang cedera. Ah, sial! Bagaimana besok aku akan bekerja? Aku tak sanggup berjalan lebih jauh lagi. Apa aku berteriak meminta tolong saja? Tapi aku tak mau mengganggu siapapun yang tinggal di sekitar sini. Atau aku berguling saja di jalanan yang agak menurun ini? Bodoh! Tubuhku sudah babak belur begini masih mau berguling seperti lembu. Aku harus segera tiba di rumah, tapi kakiku sudah tak kuat lagi melangkah. Mataku menangkap titik cahaya dari kejauhan. Benda bercahaya itu bergerak mendekatiku dari arah yang berlawanan. Semakin lama semakin dekat, dan aku semakin bisa melihat bentuk benda tersebut. Sebuah taksi akan melintas. Segera aku melambaikan tanganku agar taksi itu berhenti.

“Taksi!”

Taksi itu berhenti di sampingku. Dan alangkah terkejutnya supir taksi itu ketika melihatku.

“Astaga! Kau ini! Kau...”

“Tidak! Aku bukan hantu!” potongku.

“Lalu, kau ini...”

“Amoy Street! Sekarang!”

“Tapi kau...”

“Sudah bawa saja!”

Aku langsung masuk ke dalam taksi dan berbaring di kursi belakang. Supir taksi itu terkejut dengan perbuatanku, tapi aku memang sudah tak kuat lagi. Tubuhku terasa sangat sakit.

“Pak, apa kita tidak sebaiknya pergi ke rumah sakit?” tanya supir taksi Cina berusia paruh baya tersebut.

“Tidak perlu. Tolong bawa aku ke Amoy Street. Aku ingin pulang saja,” jawabku.

“Tapi anda terluka hebat,”

“Tidak apa-apa. Bawa saja aku kesana,”

Supir taksi itu mempercepat laju mobil. Aku hanya bisa meringis, menahan rasa sakit di sekujur tubuhku. Orang-orang itu... Terkutuk mereka membuatku seperti ini. 

----

Thanks, God

I don't really feel happy today. Or, let me simply say that I'm quite unhappy today. There were a lot of depression and annoying things happened, that made me somewhat out of control. Not really out of control, but just going a bit crazy.

And God seemingly wanted to give me a test, or, yeah whatsoever-called endurance test. He wanted to know how strong I am, facing the obstacles in this life. What happened today are not very serious problem, but they came together, simultaneously. How could I take a breath for a while when I didn't even have time to think of what should I do. I would not mention all the craziness happened today one by one, but some of them are related to friendship matter and college life. Disappointment, betrayal, misunderstanding, they are some of things that have made me sad today. How I am (still) disappointed because of a friend who betrayed me, and someone who could not understand me. That's great! It really made my day.. Yes, made it become so hellish.

So I went home and took a deep breath, silently praying that everything would be okay soon. I don't know whether God would grant it sooner or later, but what I know is that I have prayed and I have to wait. God is always listening, right? Else, I think it would be harder for me if I keep thinking about things that have made me sad. Our happiness comes when we think about something that makes us happy, right? That's the power of suggestion. Yeah, it's somehow a miracle for me. So I tried to be happy in anyway this afternoon, until I felt my sadness gradually faded away. But it didn't fade at all...

My elder brother tweeted something, saying that he was in such a very bad mood. As his younger brother, I certainly can feel the sadness (and what happened today also helps me understand what sadness is like). I tried to contact him and as soon as he came home, I asked him what happened to him. He told me that something was wrong with his motorcycle while he was driving, and a failure caused by the chain of his motorcycle nearly involved him into an unexpected traffic accident. I was shocked and my brother told me the whole story. Honestly my eyes were so teary and I cried a drop of tears (but good he did not know about it). He said that today was his bad day, and I told him that I felt the same thing. But I cheered him up and said that there was still one more thing to be thankful for.

Yes, God saved my elder brother.

I thank God for saving him. Seriously, I could not imagine what would it be, if my brother involved in a traffic accident. Probably I would cry all night long, wishing that my brother would be okay. I'm not a person who can easily think positively, so you guys can imagine what would happen to me if my brother involved in that accident and had severe injuries. It is not an impossibility that I could go to the hospital, crying in front of his door when it's not the time to come in, asking God to let him live for us, or simply crying next to him, putting my head on his chest and begging him "Please don't go!". That's not an impossibility, but.. But God saved him. He's home now and he's safe now. I really thank God for it, and seriously, now my eyes are teary again (anyone would give me a pack of tissue, please?)

Yeah. Obstacles will always come to our life. But no matter how hard it is, there's always one thing that we can be thankful for. The existence of beloved ones, the happiness coming from unexpected things, and the miracles happening suddenly, those are things that we, sometimes, forget to be thankful for. So, I thank God for saving my elder brother. I thank God for, yes, for every miracles happened in my life.

DJMAX Technika: Pop Mixing 2

Well, it must have been quite a long time since the last time I wrote a post on my blog. I've been so busy these days, doing assignments and attending neverending-torturing classes. Yes, now I don't really have much time for myself. I spend most of my time doing my assignments and attending discussion with my friends. But I finally have Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, three days of free time, so I have to use the three days to relax, find a great hideaway from daily activities that are torturing me, both physically and mentally.

And back to the topic, I think I have once posted this kind of topic, right? I have posted DJMAX Technika: Pop Mixing 1 several weeks ago and I bet this post would be the sequel from the similar post I've made before. Still talking about DJMAX, now it's already the 18th Maxpoint Shop Update in my country and all the songs have appeared to be available but the difficulties. I'm not going to talk about the new levels available at the Maxpoint Shop since mostly the new levels appeared as the 18th Update are obviously difficult (Yes, it takes probably two to three months for me to conquer HD level of "Out of CTRL". In other words, I'm a slow-learner), but I want to share my song selections for Pop Mixing (which can also be used as your course for Crew Race). In this post, I will include my selections, not only based on the theme or genre of the songs but also the characteristic of the song patterns included in the course. Here are my song selections for Pop Mixing, including my level preferences:

• Midnight Rockstar

This course consists of slow-rock songs (or slow-to-medium beat songs) with the range of level 6 to 8. The selection of the songs is based on the theme, Midnight Rockstar, so that's why the tempo are mostly slow. The arrangement of each song is also somewhat simple; distortion or over-driven voice does not really predominate the arrangement. It's not really hard for me actually to find the right songs for this course, since my reference is song with slow to medium tempo. It's up to you on how you will arrange these songs to the stages, but here are the three songs selected by me:

1. Brand New Days (MX level 7)

2. Raise Me Up (MX level 8)

3. Become Myself  (HD level 6)

• Disco Strings

The selection is based on the music arrangement. I note that some songs are seemingly cool to be played at discotheques or at your house-party. One characteristic that I observe is the element of the music arrangement (these three songs have strings section that refer to classic funky disco strings section arrangement). Let these upbeat house music enliven your party: 

1. Wanna Be Your LOVER (HD level 6)

2. Everything (MX level 8)

3. Fallin' in LUV (MX level 8)

• Screaming Soul

Well, I dunno why I am suddenly in such a depressed mood. Not really depressed actually, but just feeling unhappy. There's a voice inside of me, forcing me to scream all these craziness and depression out of me. And probably these songs would help me throw those shits away: 

1. Out of CTRL (HD level 9)

2. Burn It Down (MX level 7)

3. Rage of Demon (HD level 8)

• Deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

Yes, three electro-house songs to create such a deep ambiance. The range level for this course is between 6 to 7, so it won't be too hard to play. The main thing I chose these songs is because I just want to feel the ambiance.

1. The Rain Maker (HD level 6)

2. MASAI (Electro House Mix)

3. Desperado (Nu Skool Mix)

To my kind-hearted living encyclopedia

It was so frolic, that moment you whispered me those words that jumped into my ears and tickled them that I laughed in joy. Those seconds when you told me funny and joyful things that I had imagined before and you were amazing when you made a dream really felt too real to be just an imagination and too true to be ignored. You showed me the world within your fingertips and your glossy lip. Enlightening my mind like stacks of books, you're a kind-hearted, living encyclopedia for me.

"Ghost" Invasion

I checked the crew race tracker several days ago and found out that "Ghost" had invaded the courses. Yes, an invasion of "Ghost" MX that I talked to myself "So I have to play "Ghost" MX again right after the previous course with "Ghost" MX in it. Is this serious?"

As I realized the release of "Ghost" MX, I assumed that some players would include the song in their courses. And inevitably, there were many.. Yes, there were so many players who included it in their courses. As the result, "Ghost" MX seems to peak the chart of "the most included" songs in crew race. Well, it doesn't only happen to "Ghost" MX. "Wanna Be Your LOVER" HD and "Supernova" NM seem to be in following rank of "Ghost" MX. There are some courses, consist of "Wanna Be Your LOVER", "Supernova", and "Ghost", in different orders (possibly there are nine orders of those three songs). But what happened to me is that I played two courses with those three songs, arranged in the same order (Wanna Be Your LOVER [HD], Supernova [NM], Ghost [MX]) as the screenshot I captured below:

Back to the topic. I think what probably makes "Ghost" MX so booming these days is that the maximum level of "Ghost" is newly released, or there are so many players who love this song. I even saw courses consists of three "Ghost" MX, which means that we played that song for three stages. And I don't know why but I see mostly players put "Ghost" on third stage when it comes with two other songs, even though some courses have it as first song or second song. So it seems like "Ghost" MX gains the popularity so fast these days, and if there's a chart of most-played songs on crew race, I think "Ghost" MX peaks the rank. ㅋㅋㅋ

A Birthday Letter To Tiffany-noona

PS: I copied this letter from my Facebook note. I wrote it on Facebook first since I couldn't access my blog. I also added some things here.

So, it's the first day of August and you're one year older now. Happy birthday, Stephanie Hwang noona! I really, really really really, really happy for you. Getting older, how does it feel? All the things I know is that you're going to be more, more amazing.

I'm writing this letter at twelve o'clock in my country timezone. It must be two o'clock in Seoul time but I don't care. My goal is, that I write this letter to you, and that's all. I know you probably won't read this (or probably there would be someone who forwards this letter to you), but writing this letter to say "Happy Birthday" for you is enough to make me happy.

Noona, you're always amazing. You always succeed making me feel so proud of you. You're talented, beautiful, you have sweet voice, and what else? Because describing you is more than words and I don't know how to describe how awesome you are. You always work hard to reach your dreams and improve your skills. I know nobody's perfect and you, somehow have flaws but I don't care about it because you never give up trying your best. As the result, you always look gorgeous and flawless for me.

I keep wishing that someday we could meet and perform some songs together. You want your very own stage, right? A stage with candles, a stool, and a grand piano. And of course, among the audiences there will be your Dennis Oh sitting and watching your performance. So, I really wish that one we'll meet, and we perform some songs together. I promise I'll practice piano hard to accompany you singing your favorite song. And among the songs on the songlist, please sing "Ring" for me and let me drop my tears while playing the piano for you.

And at last, I pray that you'll always be okay. Don't you ever give up pursuing your dreams. Tiffany Hwang-noona, you have eight sisters, you have so many friends, and you have an uncountable number of fans worldwide. We always support you. Keep smiling and doing that cute wink. Keep performing your best. You'll always be my beloved Fany-mushroom-noona. You're brighter than jewel and you know it.

Tiffany-noona, 사랑합니다.

Ps: Please tell Hyukjae-hyung not to touch you. I'm so jealousy.

Wanna Be Your LOVER

I'm not going to tell you a romantic love story. I'm going to share something about one of my favorite DJMAX songs, "Wanna Be Your LOVER".

Well, I'm so thankful for this song finally comes out on 13th Maxpoint Shop update. Even though it's currently available for Crew Maxpoint only and currently available for Normal level only, but it's such a great start to have funky-disco sensation for one stage.

What makes me so excited is that the song somehow makes me feel like dancing on the dancefloor. Yeah you know, some kind of disco dances, probably with sweet and nice moves. The song reminds me of 80's disco music playing in a discotheque with colorful neon lights and moving gobos. I have a collection of funky disco music and the arrangement of "Wanna Be Your LOVER" is similar the ones in the collection. This song has clean-guitar strumming and melodic arrangement of disco strings, just like the one you can hear in typical of disco music.

And probably there is only one song which has type of disco music in Technika 3. Of all Technika 3 songs I have, "Wanna Be Your LOVER" is the only funky-disco song I can find. Even though compared with "Luv Flow" and "Everything", "Wanna Be Your LOVER" is still the better one to create a funky-disco atmosphere. And personally, I think the one which is equal to be compared with "Wanna Be Your LOVER" is "Elastic Star" by Forte Escape. Unfortunately we cannot find it in Technika 3, but the song is available in DJMAX Portable (you can find the song in soundtrack album "DJMAX Prestige Boxset [L Tunes]" and the remixed version in the "R Tunes").

So, I simply recommend this song to play. And thank God, this song comes in two version, the game version and the extended version which both can be found in the soundtrack album. And yeah, it's worth a try!