"And I feel just like I'm living someone else's life. It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right..." Michael Bublé - Home
When everything was going right..." Michael Bublé - Home
It was my favorite song, and also reminded me to a sad sad memory. They've passed away and left us all in this death-based world. But I'm not gonna talk about the song. Note the sentences above.
Living someone else's life, or at least you're not in the way you're exactly. Seems ironic. You're losing yourself. Where's the real 'you' exactly? And who is living in your corpse actually? Who's controlling your mind and you feel like you're comfort in the way you're recently but it shouldn't happen. You're about to follow the game rules but soon you realize that the game rule is just killing you softly and throwing you away from the game. You do what you like but you know that someone's hurt there by your actions. And you ask to yourself, "Who am I?"
I've felt the same thing. It felt like a reincarnation. After the 'death', I live in someone else's body (human, not animal). I don't feel okay with the new 'corpse' and wish that I can be the way I was. Hard to get used to be like that, just like adapting a camel to live in coniferous Siberian forest. I remembered something : "School teaches you ABC, but environment teaches you the lessons of life". And I saw the great impacts of the lessons. You're friend with a geek, slowly you're about to become a geek. You're friend with a rascal, count it day by day and see how many times you skip the school. I personally describe myself as the introvert one, although the test result told me another story. "Ambivert", yeah I dunno exactly. I described myself as a young boy sitting in a chair of a royal restaurant, enjoying the dinner with the great city view, Cabernet Sauvignon, Fish Sashlik, Salad de Roi, and Chocolate Mousse as the dessert (the description was also based from what-they-said about me). But suddenly, I was forced to describe myself as a drunkard drinking 10 glasses of draught beer, smoking hard like a coal engine, driving the car crazily and ending yourself by hitting another's car. From the educated to the jerk. You must have been crazy.
But that's it. You cannot ignore it once you feel that. Everyone must have felt the same. I've felt that and Thanks God, You've shown me the way I am exactly. So, just try to be yourself. Because you're different with them and you have your own 'trademark' that cannot be 'copied' by the others identically.
