So, where should I start it from?
Okay, he is a friend of mine and I've known him for about three years. He is one of my first college friends and he's given me a friendly, easy going impression that I thought we could be good friend. However as time goes by, things change. So do people. I'll never know what would happen on the first second after this post is successfully posted.
We became friends and I thought we would be good friend, or best friend, or whatnot. He was an easygoing person, unlike me who was quite selective in making friends, resulting on my cold behavior towards certain people. He was quite well-known, and I should admit it he was (and is still) good in making friends by giving them friendly impression. Time went by and we fought once, or rather, there was a misunderstanding that I pulled myself back, abandoning him. "He's got a lot of friends" I thought and that was, that really was true. He got a lot of friends and anywhere he went, he greeted someone; his friend.
He once said something that (actually) hurt me, resulting on myself loathing him, looking down on him. I had good times on my first semester and there, I suddenly thought to make up with friends whom I thought I had problems with, including him. I started to talk to him again, asking about weather, homework, or whatnot. We eventually became closer but still, something was stirring up my mind like maelstrom; there was something annoying inside of him that sometimes showed up. I kept trying to get along well with him but when that annoying thing came up, I got upset and we got apart. Often times I started a small talk in making up with him but later dispute started and we, again, got apart.
What I know is that to me, he has been a brother and he probably doesn't know about it though I've mentioned about it before to him, telling him that he's a brother to me. He might have forgotten it. He might have, but I am not sure exactly, whether he was good at memorizing or not. At home, I sometimes fight with my elder brother and we eventually make up. That's the same thing happening to me and him, a friend of mine. What bothers me is that I, honestly, hate things to be like this; there is a misunderstanding, and we fight, and someone starts a small talk, and we make up, and annoying thing comes, and we fight again, and someone starts a small talk, and we make up again. The cycle is something that, I think, should be changed. Am I going to always be like a friend-but-fiend to him? And is he going to always be a brother-that-bothers to me?
I always expect that he and I could understand each other well. I expect that we could really get along as well. As he is a brother to me, I wish to do my best, becoming not only a friend but also a brother for him. And I wish him to do the same. I think I have not really got along well with him, and I wish I could.
