A Spirit of Saving

Sepertinya bulan ini saya punya banyak pengeluaran uang. Saya jadi sering withdraw dari rekening tabungan saya karena saya rasa saya ini lagi banyak ingin beli ini itu (or at least, DJMAX Technika and out-for-dinner are good reasons). Sekuat-kuatnya nahan godaan supaya nggak beli ini itu, tetep aja berujung di boks ATM. Mungkin saya harus dikurung di rumah selama sebulan supaya nggak jajan ini itu atau main kesana sini terus.

Soal nabung-menabung, sebenernya saya udah nggak asing lagi sama budaya itu. Saya malah dari dulu emang udah dibiasakan nabung buat beli sesuatu yang saya pengen. Cuman entah kenapa semakin dewasa, semangatnya tambah menurun. Mungkin bukan semangat yang menurun, tapi godaan yang tambah edan. Saya suka bangga sendiri kalau di awal bulan saya ngeliat total uang yang ada di rekening saya bertambah seratus atau dua ratus ribu gara-gara berhasil nabung sebesar itu bulan kemarinnya. Rasanya itu kayak Katy Perry yang dari dadanya meletus fireworks warna-warni (eh?). Kenapa sampai sebangga itu? (padahal dipikir-pikir lebih bangga lagi kalau uang bulanan itu nggak dipakai selama sebulan, walhasil bulan depan totalnya jadi dobel)

Nabung sebesar seratus ribu atau dua ratus ribu mungkin kedengerannya gampang. Tapi pada prakteknya, gak segampang yang dikira. Ketika kita udah bisa mengontrol emosi dari barang-barang bagus atau maen game, bahkan makan diluar, masih ada cobaan tak terduga seperti bayaran buku, uang kas, dan biaya-biaya surprise lainnya. Biaya ini lah yang disadari ato nggak, perlahan tapi pasti bisa juga menguras rekening kita. Ya setidaknya kalau bayar uang kas itu masih biasa, tapi urusan bayar buku atau biaya-biaya yang besarnya diatas 20 rebu, nah itu lumayan lah bisa menguras rekening. Apalagi kalau bertubi-tubi, that's very... very wow!

Mengingat urusan nabung juga, dulu saya ini rajin nabung. Malah lebih rajin daripada sekarang. Walopun dulu cuman bisa nabung seratus dua ratus, serebu, dan bersyukur banget kalo dapet seratus rebu, tapi tetep saya tabungin. Saya dulu jajan pakai uang yang emang dikasih buat jajan, sementara duit buat nabung itu bisa dikasih dari orangtua, angbao, ato nggak kembalian sisa jajan itu. Dan karena rajin nabung itulah keinginan saya nggak tanggung-tanggung. Waktu saya kelas satu SD, saya bisa beli bola basket sendiri pake uang hasil tabungan saya. Yang edannya lagi, semakin besar keinginan saya tambah sinting (dan syukurnya sempat terrealisasi). Saya pernah nabung buat beli chandelier yang digantung di ruang tamu (sebelum rumah saya pindah), dan juga sempet ingin beli grandfather clock. Nggak cuma itu, saya juga ingin beli piano dan biola. Mungkin keinginan anak SD untuk punya piano atau biola masih bisa ditoleransi, tapi gimana dengan chandelier dan grandfather clock? Bersyukurlah orangtua saya rupanya ngedukung keinginan saya ini, dan akhirnya bisa terrealisasi. Rasanya bangga banget punya chandelier yang dibeli dengan hasil nabung sendiri. Dan tentang grandfather clock, sebenarnya belum terrealisasi. Tapi sebagai gantinya, dibelikanlah jam dinding dengan bandul sebagai pengganti kehadiran jam besar di rumah. Tapi setidaknya, keinginan-keinginan yang edan waktu saya masih kecil udah terrealisasi.

Lantas gimana dengan sekarang? Yang saya rasa harus saya lakukan adalah semakin memantapkan semangat nabung dan lebih menutup mata dan telinga dari godaan-godaan yang bikin dompet semakin tipis. Keinginan boleh ada, tapi keinginan itu harus direalisasikan dengan beberapa pengorbanan, salah satunya ya menabung. Semoga akhir bulan ini saya masih punya seratus ribu tambahan di rekening.

Go, go, semangat!

Sometimes Things Come So Suddenly

Well, you know sometimes bad things happen to us suddenly. So, I'm one of those people who cannot predict what will happen. Those who are given the ability to predict what will happen in the future, they're lucky somehow regardless of the negative side-effects. But I cannot. I can't predict what will happen so I might say that I can think about the anticipation when bad things come, but I'm not fully prepared. I still am not ready yet to face any bad things awaiting.

What lies ahead is such a secret. I never know what will happen next. This life is full of surprises. Something surprising or shocking comes suddenly. I never have a notification of something about to occur, but sometimes I have some signs. Signs do not always lead to the exact event. A sign might be a warning of something. Yes, probably that's how God gives you time to anticipate, or even prevent something bad to happen. Even though death is something undeniable, once you see sign of someone's death you can anticipate yourself not to get too downhearted.

You might have had a sequence of unfortunate events in your life. Bad things happened in such a sequence, playing like a monochrome, silence film. You wanted to scream but you were muted. The days felt like years since the sadness and sorrow fulfilled each single day. But you had never wished unfortunate events in your life, right? Because they come so suddenly and you cannot prepare yourself to cope with anything. Things come and probably make a big difference. Some things happen to change your life into something better, while the rest change your life into something monstrous, a nightmare that you never wish to have.

Screenshots: Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events

Tugas dan Tanggung Jawab

Kalau berkaitan sama tugas kelompok, saya orang yang memang sering ngasih pilihan (walaupun terkadang berakhir dengan "terserah sih"). Tapi setidaknya, saya sering ngasih opsi ide-ide yang nantinya bisa dipilih sama temen-temen anggota kelompok. Yap, saya biasa kumpulin dulu ide-ide lalu akhirnya saya kasih tau ke mereka dan kasih mereka pilihan.

Tapi yang bikin saya kesal adalah ketika temen kelompok kita malah nggak bisa ngasih jawaban atas pilihan yang kita kasih. Kesal gak sih? Well, I really am annoyed. Betapa tidak, saya udah kasih pilihan ide antara A, B, atau C, tapi jawabannya cuman "terserah aja". Kalau begini, mana kontribusinya terhadap kelompok? At least, anggota kelompok bisa tunjukkan kontribusinya dengan ngasih komentar, saran, atau mungkin nambahin ide lain kalo emang ide yang dikasih kurang proper. Tapi kalau kerjanya cuman ikut duduk doang, dan bilang "Aku sih terserah aja soalnya aku gak tau apa-apa", then how will you help yourself? Ini baru tugas kelompok, belum tugas mandiri. Kalo ada tugas mandiri, and you cannot even help yourself doing something, then how will you cope with the task? Leave it? 

Tugas itu merupakan sebuah tanggung jawab. Yah, apapun yang akan kita lakukan mau nggak mau sebuah tanggung jawab pasti mengikutsertakan sebuah (boleh dianggap parasit atau tidak) resiko. Ya, resiko itu akan kita ambil ketika kita dikasih tanggung jawab. Kalau tugasnya kelompok, berarti tanggung jawab dan resiko harus dibagi ke semua anggota secara adil, supaya nggak ada yang merasa terlalu terbebani atau terlalu santai. Dan ini dia yang seringkali bikin saya kesal. Berkaitan dengan tugas kelompok, menurut egonya pasti setiap anggota pengen dapet kerjaan yang santai. Tapi kita gak bisa egois gitu. Kalau semua orang egois, the task will never end. Membebani hanya sama satu orang? Anggota itu berarti parasit. Menerima beban yang banyak? Anggota itu egois sama dirinya sendiri.

Lalu gimana dengan tugas individu? Makan sendiri tanggung jawab dan resikonya. Kalau untuk tugas individu aja masih nggak mau menerima tanggung jawab dan resiko, ya berarti sudahlah, jangan kerja, jangan lakukan apa-apa karena setiap yang kita lakukan itu yang bersifat aksi, akan memberikan reaksi. Kamu berdarah karena sesuatu melukai kamu. Kamu ditampar karena kamu bersikap kurang sopan atau dibenci. Kamu tertawa karena ada sesuatu yang lucu. Kamu dapet uang kalau kamu bekerja untuk mendapatkan itu. Tanpa aksi, gak akan ada reaksi. Begitu juga dengan kerjaan. Jangan berharap bisa dapat nilai kalau nggak mau ngerjain tugas. Itu resiko.

Kesimpulannya, terima tanggung jawab yang kita dapat. Mau nggak mau itu harus diterima.

Shanghai Lounge Divas

Well I think I'm lucky to have this one, a classic mandapop (华语流行音乐) album titled "Shanghai Lounge Divas", featuring great female mandapop singers performing legendary songs. Listening to each song, it makes me feel like I'm walking back to 1930, sitting on my comfy couch in a cozy living room, listening to this kind of songs from gramophone. LOL yeah, I can even imagine my grandma enjoying a cup of tea and listening to the songs from gramophone. And one more thing, she wears cheongsam!

So here I am sitting and enjoying lovely tunes of mandapop. My favorite picks from the album are Zhou Xuan's Eternal Smile (永遠的微笑), Grace Chang's I Want Your Love (我要你的愛), Pan Xiu-Qiong's Lover's Tears (情人的眼淚), Ou-Yang Fei-ying's Shangrila (香格里拉), Yao Lee's The Spring Breeze Kisses My Face (春風吻上我的瞼), and Gu Mei's Along The River of Love (相思河畔). Those are my favorite songs which I often play in my music player. I often play these songs in bedtime, makes me sleep faster. The characteristics of mandapop distinguish itself from other genres. So talking about mandapop, particularly the songs performed in era of 1930 we can identify obvious characteristics which build the songs. They still use traditional Chinese musical instrument like pipa, even though the song is arranged in western style. The string section arrangement is usually melodic (and for example please search for Cai Qin's Lover's Tears).

It's kind of rare, finding classic albums like this one. I'm so happy having one and I think this is how I respect and appreciate Chinese music. Since I'm a Chinese descendant, so I (still) have to respect Chinese culture. Mandapop belongs to Chinese culture, and it will be always.

Loving What We Own

A couple weeks ago, my brother Izi went home from Singapore. He and his girlfriend invited me to have lunch together. It was almost half past three and I remembered I'd had an appointment before, but I didn't want to miss chance to have lunch together with my brother so I called my friend to come over as soon as I arrived at the restaurant. I thought it'd be great if I could meet my friend and have lunch with my brother and his girlfriend at the same place and the same time.

But it was 4p.m and we all had finished our lunch. My friend did not come yet. I was a bit annoyed so I texted her but I got no reply. I tried to call her repeatedly but she did not answer. Izi started getting tired and I did not know what to do. "Shame on me! I make my brother tired by waiting for my friend whom I don't even know where she is right now", I thought. I reached the climax of the annoyance when she finally texted me to tell that she was at another place. I was furious that I threw my phone. Izi saw it and immediately scolded me.

"What the hell are you doing? Throwing phone will not solve your problem! If you think that throwing your phone will make her suddenly show up here, you're totally wrong! Don't you ever think how hard mommy has worked to buy you this phone?" Izi scolded me.

Then I got annoyed by him. There was a silent for a moment until Izi's girlfriend suggested us leaving the restaurant. I didn't want to talk with Izi so I walked slowly behind Izi and his girlfriend. As an elder brother, Izi finally asked me once again about my friend and he suggested me calling her one more time. He gave me a choice, call her back again twice and let her answer the call, otherwise I could go home. I finally decided not to call her back. I really was over it.

But now I remember how Izi felt that I was so idiot. Wasting things I own, and how I did not appreciate things my mom has given me. Izi was right, throwing phone would not make her suddenly show up. Now I have to try to love and appreciate what I own well. I'll try not to throw my phone when I'm angry. I should remember how hard mom has worked to buy a phone for me. Izi has reminded me not to be idiot, and I should not disappoint him by being idiot anymore. Not in a single chance I can disappoint him.